We’re bombarded with antichristian messages everywhere in life, and from casual hookups to casual sex, our culture’s messages on dating are no different.
But Christians don’t have to follow these norms. The Bible gives us a better way.
It’s a way of chastity and wisdom. A way that understands that marriage—the end goal of dating—is for life. The person you marry will shape who you become spiritually. And that person will also be the father or mother to the children God is pleased to give you some day.
Pastorally and accessibly, Joshua Engelsma answers the practical questions of Reformed, Christian dating based on the truth that we must date differently—with marriage as the goal and scripture as the guide.
Reviewed by Jim Regnerus, administrator of Trinity Christian High School in Hull, IA
The world in which we live continues under the lie, the lie with which Satan tempted Eve and the lie which the heart of the natural man continues to indulge. This lie says that man is as God and can know all things, good and evil—even about dating.
And what if we don’t know?
Just do what everybody else is doing. Or at least Google it.
Dating Differently, subtitled A Guide to Reformed Dating, is radically different from what is above described.
Dating Differently is radically different in that it seeks the glory of God in our dating relationships. To that end, the book is a practical—very practical—guide for how the Reformed Christian conducts himself in dating with a view toward a God-glorifying marriage. Whether discussing dating versus courtship, how physical a relationship may be, what to do on a date, what the role of parents is, how we judge spiritual character, or when to get married, Engelsma is practical. His tone is conversational and the narrative is sprinkled with applicable anecdotes of his and his wife’s own dating years.
Dating Differently abounds with wisdom. The author knows his topic. Yet, the strength of the book lies not in its author, but in its basis of God’s word governing every aspect of our life, including dating. The questions for discussion at the end of each chapter will be an aid to anyone dating or contemplating dating. Book clubs and Bible societies will also benefit.
This easily digested, nine-chapter RFPA publication is a must-read. My hope is that the RFPA targets more than just teens in the marketing of the book. Definitely, teens will benefit richly, but so will parents, teachers, elders, ministers, husbands, wives, and all members of the bride of Christ.
“The book is an enjoyable and easy read … It reads like I imagine a conversation on these topics would go with a wise older brother who happened to be a pastor.”—Rev. Cory Griess, pastor of First PR Church in Grand Rapids, MI
“[A] virtue of the book is the practical approach. The author successfully takes the biblical wisdom of Scripture and applies this to real life situations.”—Rev. Garry Eriks, pastor of Hudsonville PR Church in Hudsonville, MI
“A personal, pastoral, practical book that answers the questions dating couples will have, which should be read either before forming a relationship or inits early stages to be most effective and useful.”—Jon Van Dyk, Christian Renewal (January 18, 2020 issue)
“I would encourage all parents and youth to get this book … For what is more important than Christian marriages for God’s covenant children for their own happiness, but even more that will ‘serve their ultimate purpose: the glory of our Go din the demonstration of the unity of the Bridegroom and his Bride’ (p. 147).”—Rev. James Admiraal, The Outlook (Jan/Feb. 2020 issue)
