Chapter Headings:
1. Leaving Father and Mother
2. Seeking a Life Mate
3. Courtship
4. Single Persons Who Do Not Marry
5. Engagement
6. Wedding Plans
7. “And He Shall Cleave unto His Wife”
8. “And They Shall Be One Flesh”
Rev. Cornelius Hanko gives practical instruction and pastoral wisdom on finding a godly marriage partner and maintaining that marriage. Courtship is something that young people are interested in, but, ”a serious son of the church is not merely interested in finding a mate, but realizes that he needs a companion and a helper to carry out his calling in God’s church” (p. 6) insists the author. Young men and women should not ”play the field” for ”dating is not a frivolous game that can be played without doing serious damage to some innocent victim” (p. 9) warns Rev. Hanko.
The main point of courtship, writes Rev. Hanko, is to get to know each other. This is often forgotten in the author’s experience. ”Listen”, he warns, ”There are many young people who plunge into marriage only to realize that they have never learned to know each other” (p. 11). Conventional dating doesn’t always lead to a knowledge of the other person:
”You cannot attain that by going out for a ride, spending long hours under the moonlight … watching movies … whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears, or trying to show with your actions how much you care. If you want to know each other you must discuss subjects of common interest. It is a bad sign, if you cannot find plenty of subjects that you enjoy talking about together. If you have no common interests before you are married, do you expect to find them afterward?” (p. 13) asks the author.
There is a grave danger that young people will date and ultimately marry an unbeliever or somebody spiritually incompatible. ”You must be of the same doctrinal and religious convictions. That is simply a must. If you contemplate being joined at some future date in the permanent bond of marriage, you must be of one heart, one mind, when it comes to your spiritual life” (p. 13) warns the author.
This comes highly recommended for parents who want to teach their children about the importance of marriage, for young people contemplating marriage or courtship, and for engaged couples.
“Much common sense and biblical wisdom is to be found in this little book … How careful young people must be to seek the guidance or God with regard to a spouse! In a day when sex before marriage is regarded as the norm it is good to have the teaching of the Bible on moral purity clearly spelled out. The emphasis that is laid on the interest of the whole congregation in a member’s marriage is also wholesome. It is a common saying that ‘love is blind’ but Hanko advises to enter marriage with both eyes open” (Free Church Witness).
